Callum James Crane

Callum James Crane 04/05/08

Callum was born premature on the 4th may 2008 when i was just 18+2 weeks pregnant. he was my world,
my everything! i was so happy when i found out i was pregnant it was untrue. i was so excited and
the happiest person in the world. my life was complete, i had my wonderful boyfriend and now a
beautiful baby, i couldnt of been any happier!
from around 16 weeks i had bleeding and pain and i was in labour for just under 2 weeks, i cant
describe how i felt becasue theres no words to describe my whole world falling apart, every once of
happiness shatterd. callum was born alive, he was a fighter and he fort so hard to stay here with
mommy, hes my little soldier boy. he died shortly after birth because his lungs were not fully
developed and they dont resusatate before 6 months.
il never forget the day you died my precious callum, it had been sunny all week and it poored
down,everywhere seemed so quiet and empty. i felt like the only person in the world with everyones
grief and sorrow on my shoulders. i cryed and cryed and cryed, i felt so numb, my heart ached so
bad, i just wanted your here with me in my arms. what did i do so wrng to deserve this? why did god
not answer my prayers? how could life be so cruel? everything was ruind, i never thought id have to
burry my son:(

you are so beautiful callum, i love you so much more then anyone can imagin more then words can
describe. i miss you more and more everyday sweetheart, my heart aches, apart of my heart died with
you. i crave for you to be here with me, it hurts so much that your not:( and it will never stop
hurting! im so proud i made such a perfect and beautiful baby boy as you, i couldnt of ask God for a
baby more beauiful! theres not a second that goes by where i dont think about you callum, your my
life my everything, if i could i would give you my life! your the reason i live, the reason i
breathe, i want to make you so proud of me like you make me proud sweetheart! i hope you here me
when i speak to you, i pray for you everynight. i hope the angels are looking after you in heaven, i
always pray to them to look after you and iv asked afew special people in heaven to look after you
until i get there. i know your always with me buba because you giv me strength and i feel you here.
the love i have for you is like no other love in the world, i love you with a love beyond all
description and miss you with a grief beyond all tears:( im sorry that mommy crys somtimes and is so
sad, but i just miss you so so much, but i no you dont like it when mommy and daddy are upset, every
smile is for you my precious angel. i wish i could hold you right now, i wish i could change things,
i wish i had a maigic wond n id have you rite back here with me now and i wouldnt be writing this, i
wuldnt have to tak flowers and visit your grave, i wouldnt have to write in your memorial book, or
look at your pictures every secnd of the day, i wouldnt have to think about how much i miss you
everyday i wouldnt have to cry myself to sleep everynight i wouldnt have all this pain n grief and
think about how many birthdays your not here for or chritmas's, when you were suppost to be born
what your first word would have been, beacause id have you back here with me and daddy the way it
should be! your my angel and i no God sent you here to help me and you did baby boy so much and now
that you helped me god needed you back in heaven because you were far to perfect and special for
this cruel world, your away from all harm and hurt that could have come to you, you are safe forever
with the angels and we will meet again when its my turn to go and il smile everyday because its one
day closer to being with you again. i love you and miss you so much with all my heart and soul
nothing compares to the bond we have and will have forever and im so grateful your my son and i got
to meet you. your my first born callum and your so special to me and daddy. i no your watching over
us keeping us safe darlin i hope you no how much we love you and miss you! sleep tight our beautiful
prince love you 4ever always in our hearts and thorts
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